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by Douglas B. Rudman

“Can your marriage survive your business? Can your business survive your marriage?”

What is worse than domestic troubles? The answer many small business owners know too well is domestic troubles plus business troubles. The dream of starting, then maintaining and growing a business requires precious resources. The standard economic principle of guns versus butter can be substituted for time at work versus time at home. As a society we celebrate the entrepreneur who sacrifices so much to succeed, but on a personal level we shake our collective heads at one who sacrifices his or her family for the promise of financial gain. Realistically, we know that many new and existing business ventures will fail. The same is true of marriage. Surely no one would start a new venture if they knew the end result would be bankruptcy, just as no one would marry if they knew the end result would be divorce.

While it is forgivable for the individual to be “blinded by love” and enter into marriage on the expectation of good times ahead without the benefit of contract negotiations (prenuptial and/or antinuptial agreements), in business we enter into partnerships with written agreements and set out to stay ahead of the curve by long range planning. But how well do we prepare for the toll that divorce could take on our business?

The average business day is difficult enough, with increasing time demands, competition, investors, creditors, vendors, employees, and taxes. Often business owners spend more waking hours at work than at home. Too much time at one leads to trouble at the other. We all know there are numerous reasons why a marriage might be dissolved – the common themes include adultery, abandonment, alienation, addiction and abuse. But work as grounds for divorce? Perhaps you should ask yourself, can my marriage survive my business?

I consult with many clients who are so busy at the office they don’t understand how their marriage fell apart. They are in shock to find themselves talking to an attorney about such issues. Many feel betrayed, alienated from their children, depressed, humiliated and embroiled in irrational discussions with their spouses.

Too often, the same types of strategic planning, revising and action required to maintain and protect a business have been taken for granted in the marriage. There has been too much stock placed in the words “for better or worse, in sickness and health, till death do us part.” These words are the high ideals of marriage, not a guarantee. Whereas marriage requires two to tango, divorce only requires one.

Just as your business can be a causing factor in a divorce, a divorce can negatively impact the business. This applies not only to business owners, but to any key person to the business. Just as it is seemingly impossible to separate our own home life from our business, the same is true for many of our partners, principal officers, managers and employees. Divorce in the workplace can negatively affect the bottom line and in the worst-case scenario, flatline a company.

Frankly, very few have prepared themselves for divorce, just as few have prepared themselves for estate planning. As a society we do not like to plan for death, even in the face of the inevitability of our own mortality. Many are even more fearful of planning for a divorce, though they face an approximate 50 percent statistic. Few couples are prepared to account for their assets and liabilities, or value and divide them in an equitable and amicable manner. When children are in the equation the same disputes apply. The emotional, financial and legal issues can be time-consuming, stressful and distracting at the office.

Here is some good news: The same set of skills necessary for successfully weathering business challenges can help the individual successfully weather divorce proceedings.

Good business judgment can be utilized in a divorce when it comes to valuation and allocation of assets and liabilities, along with application of appropriate legal and equitable principles concerning the facts of the case. Just like business, divorce proceedings require decision-making. When parties cannot amicably agree as to what “good business judgment” would dictate, then family court judges rendering judgments will often use “business judgment” in addition to the legal and equitable considerations of the case. A family court judgment of dissolution has the force of law but it has its limitations. A judge has the power to divide assets and liabilities, award maintenance, child support, and institute a particular parenting plan, but a judge cannot force any given spouse to be happy about the rulings.

Each case is different, and identifying the legal and non-legal issues is necessary before appropriate strategies can be developed. A divorce action should be treated more as a marathon than a sprint. Just as in business, often the key to setting the right course of action is knowledge.

What does divorce mean, what are the options, where can I get help, what will I be required to do, who are the players and what is likely outcome? How can I get successfully divorced? Successfully divorced? Yes, successfully divorced, because there are many who will be unsuccessfully divorced, where issues are not resolved, with ongoing acrimony resulting in alienation and financial ruin. I suggest even wars of attrition must end. However, for many, divorce is not an end but the beginning of a new wave of battles that can take further emotional and economic toll.

We live in an increasingly complex business environment, in which businesses face tough decisions to survive. In good times and bad times a business may seek a consultant’s advice on the appropriate course of action. In the event there is trouble on the home front, you do not have to wait until you are served with divorce papers before consulting an attorney. A domestic relations attorney can assist you in answering the “what if ” questions in a confidential and secure setting, help to identify legal issues affecting your personal and business interests, and develop contingency plans to prepare you for a legal separation or divorce in the event that reconciliation is not an option.

The key to a successful marriage and business is more than a yin-yang balance between times at home and at work. One need not be happy at work to be happy at home, and vice versa. Yet, for those who are married, business troubles and domestic troubles often go hand in hand. Perhaps, however, if you prepare for the possibility of divorce it may help you keep focused on why you are working so hard in the first place.

Douglas B. Rudman practices in the area of domestic relations and family law with Rudman & Smith, LLC. He is a former Special Assistant United States Attorney and St. Louis County Counselor.