What’s up with all the attempts to trademark stuff these days? A few years ago, Harley-Davidson sought to trademark the “potato-potato-potato” exhaust sound its motorcycles’ v-twin engines make when idling. This was presumably so that Japanese motorcycle manufacturers couldn’t replicate the distinctive sound in their bikes, but after six years and a fortune in legal fees, the company dropped the case like an exhaust-heated potato.

You might think the attempt was foolhardy, but the precedent had already been set. MGM owns the trademark to the lion’s roar heard at the beginning of its movies, and in 1950, NBC successfully registered the musical notes G, E and C played on chimes as a trademark for its radio broadcasting services.

The New York Stock Exchange owns the service mark (SM) for the term “The Opening Bell.” Does this mean that all the other stock exchanges in the world have to use a buzzer or a guy banging a pan with a big spoon?

Last year movie director Spike Lee tried to argue that when the cable television channel TNN proposed renaming itself “Spike TV” it was trying to capitalize on his name. Lee and his attorney Johnnie Cochran were successful in having a temporary injunction issued, but the case was quickly settled out of court. After all, isn’t music and film littered with people named Spike? I can think of several, including a dog or two.

The most recent example that comes to mind is Donald Trump. Having joined the reality TV craze with his show “The Apprentice,” Trump filed in February with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to patent the term “You’re Fired.” If successful, Trump will be able to sell tee shirts, games and other products bearing the slogan, probably in an attempt to offset the losses from his underperforming Atlantic City casinos. I personally think his hair should be fired, but I’m not one to talk.

Bosses around the world are presumably already looking for other terms to use when terminating an employee. Some may fear that “You’re Terminated” might be stepping on the toes of the new governor of California, who is known to some as “The Governator.” Other options such as “You’re canned,” or “You’re history” just don’t have the same impact. These days the most commonly heard expression may well be, “Pack up your personal items and security will escort you from the building.”Now that has a ring of finality, and I bet it’s one that’s still available at the patent office. At least it was this morning …

Regards,

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